If so, why can't I get over it? I understand that we don't have a lot in common...but did we ever? Most of you probably know who I'm talking about without me even saying her name. Which is good, because I'm not going to call her out on the internet. Every one keeps telling me to get over it. People change, they grow apart, etc. But I'm not okay with that explanation. I have friends that I don't have a lot (anything?) in common with. But even so, I'm not going to cut them out of my life and pretend they don't exist. Especially not if we'd been friends for 21 years. How can you just pretend that everything that happened, all the years we spent getting into trouble, going on vacations, everything, just doesn't matter any more? I just don't understand. Last time I saw her, we hadn't seen each other in a few years, and we just picked up where we left off. So why when I got married did it all change? I know I said somethings out of bitterness & anger. But even when it was all said and done, she said that our friendship ending wasn't because of that, but because "we're just different people now." I know I made mistakes. I know I said things I shouldn't have said. But I'm human. I so badly wish I hadn't said the things I said, even though it ultimately may not have made a difference in the demise of this friendship.
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
I don't want to live this life knowing that I didn't do all I could to apologize. I know I have though. A few months ago I called her...just to see how she was doing and wish her well. I left a voicemail. I guess it was wishful thinking that she would call me back. It's worse that she won't even acknowledge my existence. I feel stupid for caring. It would be so much easier to not care. So much easier. And please don't tell me to let go, because believe me I want to. It's just not that easy.
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